Want to Improve Your Mental Health? Should You Stop Relaxing?

Relaxing has been scientifically proven in many different research studies to reduce our levels of stress. It is a very effective method of reducing stress for many people. 

However, it doesn’t work for everyone.

• Some people find trying to relax, listening to whale song or rain actually increases their stress levels.
• Others can find that trying to relax means that they actually sit there and think more about their problems.

  Stresslaxing

  This is where the term “stresslaxing” has come in. 

  Stresslaxing is a term used when trying to relax actually makes people feel more stressed.   Or where they increase their stress levels by trying to force themselves to relax. The clinical term for stresslaxing is relaxation induced anxiety.

  Taking a soothing bath or listening to whale song doesn’t work for everyone.

  We relax to try to reduce our stress levels. So if relaxing increases them, what is the point? It can lead to more worry and anxiety for the person.

  A part of our brain, the amygdala, is always looking for danger.  Our brains are designed to protect us from things that threaten us. Some people will find it hard to put these negative thoughts out of their mind. They may need to stay busy because when they are trying to be calm, their brain continues to search for threats, or negative memories or experiences.

  People are also finding it harder to relax for a number of reasons –

• Technology, social media, emails, cell phones etc make it harder for us to “turn off,” to relax.In the past, people tended to have weekends off, or finished work at 5pm. The world has now changed and the working day and working week has spread.
• Technology has also blurred the line between relaxation and work time, because we can still get work emails or calls or messages when we are not at work, or supposedly relaxing.

  What Do You Do If You Find Relaxing Stressful?

  Boundaries

  Before even trying to relax, it is important to set boundaries in your life –

• Decide on your boundaries between work and home.For example, you might finish work at 5pm and decide to turn off your phone and computer. Or perhaps, you decide you will answer anything until 7pm, and then that is it.Perhaps you won’t work at weekends. Or won’t put your computer on when you get home. Only you can decide on your boundaries, but set them and stick to them.
• Set boundaries with technology too. Again, these are your boundaries, so you might decide not to look at social media after 8pm, for example. Or only check your messages and emails at certain times of the day.
• Keep a to do list. Not everything is a crisis or needs to be done now. So if it’s not super urgent, put a task into a non-urgent part of your list.Perhaps decide daily what is urgent, what is important but not urgent, and what can wait until tomorrow or next week.
• Also keep a Done list.To do lists keep our focus on the future and what needs to be done, but by keeping a done list. We can also see what we have already done, what we have achieved. The relief of crossing something off a list can help to reduce our stress levels.

  Reducing Your Stress by Not Relaxing!

  If relaxing stresses you, how do you reduce your stress levels?

  For some people, doing something can actually reduce their stress.

• Go for a walk. Spending time with nature has been found to reduce stress levels, as has spending time with animals.So taking a dog a walk over the fields or in the park can reduce your stress.
• Go walking with the llamas, the lambs, sheep, goats.
• What about going swimming? Or go cold water swimming or swim outdoors to again connect with nature. Cold water swimming helps us to control our flight or flight response.
• Exercise of any kind can help us to reduce our stress. Exercises increases our levels of feel-good hormones, but it also uses our energy and can help to reduce muscle tension.
• Spend the day at a spa or get a massage.
• Go forest bathing.
• Get a new hobby, such as -
  • Astronomy – watch the stars and planets at night.
  • Knitting, crocheting or other crafts.
  • Write a novel, poetry, short stories, a blog. For fun! For enjoyment! Not to add another task to your busy day.
• Start journalling. Write down the things that stress you, that annoy you.Journalling can be more than just writing down what irritates you.
  • Add images and drawings. Cut out things and stick them in your journal.
  • Go to the park or a coffee shop to write your journal.
  • Try to add positive things too.

If you are stresslaxing, then why not try some of these techniques? Not all of them will work for everyone, but try something you think you will enjoy.

Why not have a look at our Stress Management courses?

Managing Stress Course

Ecotherapy Course

Coping Better with Negative Emotions eBook